Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Don't take that tone with me!

I am an excellent judge of character.



despite my rather lengthy list of bad relationships,
my ability to call it, is uncanny.

I can almost always sum people up correctly, right off, even though I often am attracted to louts, eccentrics and nuts anyway.

I can sniff out judgmental people particularly well.

I am a very judgemental person myself, but I am also very compassionate, so the two usually even each other out,

I think,

I hope, anyway.

I can often pick up on some hidden judgment, in a person's tone of voice, or inflection-

For me, that kind of tone is a real Tell, like one of the signs people do subconsciously in poker, that give their secret away, something like biting their lip every time they have a good hand...

Usually when I pick up on that sort of subtle undertone, regarding my kids, I talk way more than I usually do, about "big feelings" and dealing with children from their perspective, dragging out all of my tricks from my facilitator training.

As often as not, the adult involved, will ignore all of this and dismiss me, because her heart is already set on not liking the child.
She will be nice and professional to the child and family.
That is the way it works, no one will be out of line, this is all below the surface.

One of the reason's I feel particularly sensitive to these issue, is that I happen to have a couple of very quirky kids.


Nearly freaks, for some teachers,

brilliant and lovely free spirits, to others.

It really is a matter of taste.

I was never in danger of that kind of judgement as a child.

I was the compliant, quiet child every teacher coveted, however, I have become the annoying high needs adult, that some people hate, so I can relate AND I have these children that illicit strong sentiment in their adult care-givers.

As I prepared to leave Bootiful Princess at preschool, for nap time, so I could get some work done at home, one of the teacher's said to Freyja, but for my benefit

"I hope you can leave your nap things on your cot today"

in a deeply patronizing voice.

She then rolled her eyes and told me with a heavy sigh, how every day, Freyja pulls all of her nap things off of her cot.

She said it in the same manner, that you would tell someone

"Then she pulled the nap things off the cot, balled them up, doused them with lighter fluid and set them ablaze in the middle of the room!"

The tone of her voice said "I don't like your child and I think she is behaving badly, and I think this is all a result of your bad parenting", which made me like the teacher considerably less and for about two seconds, rage inside my head

"Do you know who I am, HERE? *&^% YOU!"

I smiled sweetly, ignored her and walked out.
This gal is young and full of herself.

She has no idea what it feels like to have a child you would both kill and die for.
Her tone is a joke to me, I don't even need to get upset.

1 comment:

  1. You seem to be evolved, in a sort of Zen way, to a level I myself would never hope to achieve, had I become a mom.

    I'm not being sarcastic, I am truly amazed. I would be all, you can not have my child here with you, she deserves better company than small-minded #$&hats like yourself, WE ARE LEAVING. Because I am a storm-off snot like that. But really, any kid of mine would be able to handle the situation, I think. It's a tough line to walk.