Thursday, October 6, 2011

mumbo jumbo

I had a interesting experience last evening.

I went to a hypnotist for the 4th time in my life.

I keep thinking that a good reset might do the trick, if you know what I mean, but alas, I was once again unable to be hypnotized.

Mind like a steel trap
and all that good stuff.

Hypnotherapists are not at all what you would think, or not at all what I would think you might think.

No snakeoil insight, no swirling images or pocket watches.

They are terribly earnest and kind people, from my experience.  People that want to help other people get over all their internalized fuckedupnessness.

They always preface things by trying to assure me that they will not control my mind.

Why the hell not? I am not doing a real bang up job, perhaps a proxy is in order!

I always feel badly for people that want me to relax.

I am most certainly not relaxed.

I have had massage therapists say "you may fall asleep." 


Fat chance.

The chance of me falling asleep while someone touches me, is akin to me taking up mathematics for  fun.

Nil, Nada, Zilch!

So this lady was pretty good.

I sort of nodded off, but then I had that napjerk thing... you know, where you start to fall asleep on a bus, but you snap back to consciousness?
Then I was all hyper aware and cynical and it pretty much blew the whole evening.
We were done. 
She was very kind, and her chair was very comfy.
I will give her that much, she deserves gold star for working with the world' least relaxed person.
Prior to the whole hypnotizing part of the treatment, she did Reiki, which usually just really pisses me off, but this was not so bad.
I found it almost relaxing. 
When she touched my clavicle she said "you don't really trust, do you?"
Ding, ding, ding, give the lady a prize. 

No, not much.
then she said
"I sense  a lot of anger from your back"  well wait till you see my front!
but yes, my back was angry and stiff and sore.

I felt very at ease and happy with the Reiki, not angry and not wishing for deeper massage.
I felt heartbroken not to be hypnotized, I had such high hopes.

1 comment:

  1. ""I sense a lot of anger from your back" well wait till you see my front!"

    LOL for reals. Oh em gee, dying!

    I've been wanting to try Reiki too. It is very frustrating to have a massage therapist as a roommate, but one that is never home! I should have specified 'on-call' hours in the rental agreement, ha!