Miss F. with cat whiskers leftover from a party earlier in the the day.

After sort of dragassing through most of last week, I pulled myself together enough to carve exactly one pumpkin on Sunday.

I did the heavy lifting of scooping out the guts, before I was interrupted by a phone call from my mother regarding plates.

I handed the design and carving work over to Mark and Freyja and they did me proud with a traditional jackO'lantern, nothing fancy here no special tools required. 

Maxwell refused to participate this year, so there you are.

We have one carved pumpkin and that may well be it. 

My friend Lily told me about someone that died from sleep apnea at 34, which made me think twice about getting my sleep/snoring/gaspingforbreath issue checked out, but our stupid insurance had a clause about anything to do with sleep being uncovered, so that made me think thrice.

I figure I am getting about three hours a night with the waking up, the insomnia and the axiety associated with it all.

Doesn't make for a really festive mood.

I put out some of my nicer Halloween decorations, things I haven't put out since having Freyja and the cat.

I figure they are both old enough now not to tear shit up, but who knows.

I have become positively Zen about my stuff getting broken since having both of them come to live with me.

The little girl dressed as a bat, in the bowl, I myself broke the last time I put her out.  I had hung her on a willow branch and she sort of glanced off and crashed against the vase before I could catch her.

She is that super delicate imitation mercury glass, from Germany, that I am so partial to.

If I had a lot of money and no cat, I would have a lot of birds made from that material, but instead I have one, that I treat like a museum piece.

 For some reason this song was in my head when I woke up this morning. 

Rainy days and Sunday

So many wild mushrooms, so little inspiration.  My wildcrafting friends are over achievers!

The poodle is captured and secured.

Occupy Heidi's Living-room; a pink tent city is erected

transporting the poodle to a more secure location, the bedroom! 

driven batty

 The finished product, vegan, organic and pretty damn good, if I say so myself.  The bat picks aren't too shabby either, I may have to go back to the Decorette shop for more.
Truth be told, unless you want to make a replica of those really trashy grocery store sheet cakes, the Decorette Shop isn't that hot, it is the the height of kitsch, so if you enjoy that sort of thing it is a like a little slice of heaven right on SE Foster!
And every now and again you can find something really cool like these bats.
I also picked up some owl, acorns and leaves sculpted out of sugar and some Arthur Rackhamesque owl picks, which I was too selfish to put on these cupcakes, which I am sending along with Freyja to a Fairy club meeting.
Those fairy loving girls just wouldn't get how special those owls are.
I need a really good, special occasion to bust them out.

muffins and cupcakes are almost the same things

Vegan  Ginger, pear, applesauce muffins
2 cups flour
1 cup applesauce
1/2 cup oil
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 molasas
1 cup chopped ripe pair
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 chopped candied ginger
top with chopped nuts
bake at 325 until done- 35 minutes ish

 Cat not necessary for good outcome, but it may help

Vegan chocolate, pumpkin cupcakes with chocolate icing
makes 14
2 cups flour
1 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 cocopowder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 molasas
1/2 cup oil
bake in muffin tin for 35 minutes or until done

ice with frosting of your choice

My yoga teacher quit teaching the class I take.

She took a new full time job at a fancy westside club.

I hate the new teacher.

I suppose the teacher is fine enough, but I hate the class and the way it is going now. 

Nope, I hate the teacher. 

Something about her just pisses me off.

I mean I was already pissed off when I discovered that the old teacher was gone for good, after straggling along with substitutes all summer. 
Lame substitutes, like that skinny, newagey one with the super straight hair, and the bouncy one with the baby voice. 
The babytalker wasn't too bad when she was silent, but each time she gave directions I just felt like punching her in the face. 
The skeletal, unnaturally, straight-haired one, just seemed not to care, she was doing her own thing, students be damned, so her, I could relate to, or at least respect the bravado, the other one was too earnest and chipper for my taste.

This new one is just young and self righteous, and lacks the moxie  to  really pull it off.  She gives terrible directions and her pacing is way off. 
She's got no rhythm.

I too lack rhythm and flow, and that is exactly why I go to a class. 

If I wanted to fumble around and stop and start, I would stay at home and do it in my living-room.

did I mention the part about the Wild West?

I force my children to eat outside to justify the covered deck! Bwahahahaha!

Beetgreens are GOOD!

a whole lot of cabbage going on

the making of the dumplings

mushroom nutballs with onion gravy!

helping Mommy with Friday night dinner!

spinach stuffed mushrooms!

apple, onion dressing

Allowing Mommy to photograph me with my hair neat and tidy

Insisting on my bangs pulled back to make Mommy crazy.

Yes, you are taller than me, but NO, you can't avoid family functions!

Telling Mommy that you need a "wild west" themed costume at the 11th hour and counting on her sewing skills!

mumbo jumbo

I had a interesting experience last evening.

I went to a hypnotist for the 4th time in my life.

I keep thinking that a good reset might do the trick, if you know what I mean, but alas, I was once again unable to be hypnotized.

Mind like a steel trap
and all that good stuff.

Hypnotherapists are not at all what you would think, or not at all what I would think you might think.

No snakeoil insight, no swirling images or pocket watches.

They are terribly earnest and kind people, from my experience.  People that want to help other people get over all their internalized fuckedupnessness.

They always preface things by trying to assure me that they will not control my mind.

Why the hell not? I am not doing a real bang up job, perhaps a proxy is in order!

I always feel badly for people that want me to relax.

I am most certainly not relaxed.

I have had massage therapists say "you may fall asleep." 

HA!

Fat chance.

The chance of me falling asleep while someone touches me, is akin to me taking up mathematics for  fun.

Nil, Nada, Zilch!

So this lady was pretty good.

I sort of nodded off, but then I had that napjerk thing... you know, where you start to fall asleep on a bus, but you snap back to consciousness?
THAT.
Then I was all hyper aware and cynical and it pretty much blew the whole evening.
We were done. 
She was very kind, and her chair was very comfy.
I will give her that much, she deserves gold star for working with the world' least relaxed person.
Prior to the whole hypnotizing part of the treatment, she did Reiki, which usually just really pisses me off, but this was not so bad.
I found it almost relaxing. 
When she touched my clavicle she said "you don't really trust, do you?"
Ding, ding, ding, give the lady a prize. 

No, not much.
then she said
"I sense  a lot of anger from your back"  well wait till you see my front!
but yes, my back was angry and stiff and sore.

I felt very at ease and happy with the Reiki, not angry and not wishing for deeper massage.
I felt heartbroken not to be hypnotized, I had such high hopes.

a labor of love- love of onions

Me promising Mark that I will stop checking work e-mail.

 Freyja lost her front tooth, and this time the Toothfairy got her act together enough to come through with some dough, and a crystal and a pretty little rock.
The Toothfairy was feeling like a real dirtbag, so she over compensated.

We had a party to attend Saturday evening and I was so caught up in my aches and pains I didn't even get nervous about it.
I was positively calm and it went fine.
Fine enough for me and a party, I am just not very good with people I don't know, but I know that about myself, so I have this new thing where I don't get too upset over my social anxiety.

So far it's working fairly well.

Rolf and decided to make  kaseSpätzle    (hmm more formatting problems)
for dinner tonight, which requires cooking a large volume of onions in large volume of butter, slowly, for a long time, which stinks the place up something fierce, so I am experimenting with cooking them outside in a crockpot, which is highly unconventional and makes Rolf nervous.
Since he makes me nervous all the time, I am ignoring his concerns and just doing it.
So there.
Perhaps that knocking around has unleashed a new fierceness in me, where I go to parties and not worry AND do things without considering the feelings of others?
I am making green cabbage sauteed with green apples and dill.
The traditional accompaniment is sweet and sour red cabbage, but I seem to be on a roll here, and will go with it.
I am part of a food team, for a couple that just had a new baby, so for them I made Persian lentils, with basmati rice, with raisins and walnuts, and steamed vegetables.  The new mother is allergic to wheat, which pretty much made my plan for the spatzle dead in the water.  It was a good occasion to cook ahead a little, so now Mark is all set for lunches Monday and Tuesday.

We watched Win Win with Paul Giamatti, which I enjoyed.  I really like most things he does and this was another good film, not mind blowing, but good.   We watched Barney's Version a few weeks ago and I liked it too, of course Dustin Hoffman is always good in my book, so that helped.
It sort of falls apart at the very end, but worth renting, I would say, if you like small films.
This may indeed be my most disjointed post ever.
Wow!

Another lost tooth

me having second thoughts about leaving this little wolf, who seems to always have mischief in her heart.

Can I mention my love of sun through yellow curtains, again?

You try cutting up ten onions and see how good you look.

looking very punk rock, with my onion induced tear, and dirty hair.

Freyja asked me "are you ready to be MAZED?"

the amazing color job, and equally amazing is the fact that I had not thrown the Disney  Princess book away!