This is a reply I wrote to a friend that was describing an ugly divorce. Having never been divorced myself, I am no expert, but here is what I thought to say.
Oh, be civil!
My own parents managed to be so ugly
to each other in their divorce and not speak to each since (40ish years)
that I feel scarred for life, destroyed, but I am a sensitive soul I suppose. I see how damaging that road was, and I would rather live under a bridge, eating cat food than put my children through it.
on the other hand am mostly friendly with everyone I ever dated, that
preppie fellow not withstanding, he remains an angry, indignant, mystery. I suppose
it makes it easy that I have never had two pennies to rub together and
always dated musicians and artists who were poorer than me, I was the
one with a bathmat, a car, a frying pan. What would I have taken or
demanded? A gig-bag, a wahh peddle, a frayed black jacket?