Thursday, January 5, 2012

I finally threw the towel in and quit my old yoga class, after faithfully attending twice a week for two years. 

For the past month I have been sampling classes at the Eastside community center, which is kind of far to travel; the facility is nice and new and makes up for the drive. 

I like the Monday night yoga a lot, and the Tuesday night yoga class is ok- the teacher has a weird voice, but no one is perfect, right?

This past Tuesday I arrived to find the studio crammed with athletic looking women (and one man) dressed in sneakers.

Not a good sign. 

It seems that the class had been changed to "belly fit" some kind of hybrid of belly dancing and pilates, which sounded sort of doable, so I decided to stay.

I didn't have sneakers, so I hid barefoot in the back with two other women from the yoga class.

The bellyfit class turned out to be heavy leaning toward the dance element and very light on pilates, which I am good at, it figures, right?

I don't dance.

I lack even the slightest bit of rhythm and have only enough coordination in my body to walk and chew gum at the same time, most of the time. 

I frequently run into walls, trip over cracks in the pavement and fall up stairs.

I am super flexible and very strong, that is why yoga is my friend. 

Dance on the other hand is like a cruel Jr. High girl, out to make me look like a fool and feel terrible about myself.

To add insult to injury, there were wall to ceiling mirrors, so my humiliation was on display for me and the whole class to enjoy. 

It was like a cross between Elaine dancing on Seinfeld and and exorcism.

Have I mentioned that I don't really know my right from left? 

Well I don't, I always have to look.  Long before I was married I wore a ring on my left hand so I would look less like a dumb-ass when occasions to know your left and right came up.

North and south? 

No problem!

I can give excellent directions and almost never get lost, I just need someone giving me directions in the car, to tap on the window, or gesticulate wildly so I know which way to turn.

Anyway, I made it through the class, and I may go back for another round tonight.

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