Saturday, April 24, 2010

wake up and smell the catfood

I am taking a pilates and a yoga class this term.

It hurts when I laugh. 

I am pretending that is a good thing.

In May I am adding "yoga sculpt", which is a hybrid of the two practices (if you know me you know how annoyed I am by people who yak on and on about their practices) with some cardio thrown in for good measure.

The teacher, who frequently refers  to herself as a yogi  (which also annoys me) assures me that this class will change my body. 

I really love the pilates, it is easy on my old creaky knees.

The yoga I could do without.  I already very flexible, super flexible even, from doing yoga stretches for 20 years or so, (until the birth of my second child I could do the splits, and a backbend, despite being old and fat) but I am not graceful at all.

Not one bit of grace flows through this body, so I always look like a buffoon, during the transitions from one pose to another, at least I don't fart, like the woman next to me.

How can she just fart away in a crowded room ?

It disturbs my practice a great deal, much more than the cell phone yacker, on my other side.

My lack of grace presents the same problem in dancing.

I am a terrible dancer.

I don't know my left from my right well enough to be smooth, and I can't follow directions fast enough to be smooth.

I am not a smooth person.  I am a methodical, plodding, peasantish person, who is a lousy dancer.

No comments:

Post a Comment