Sunday, March 18, 2012

getting caught up

 I had a grand plan for St. Patrick's day, which included the humble, yet fantastic vegetables pictured above, but I spent the better part of the day looking at houses for my mother, and in the end found myself phoning in cooking directions to Rolf, who was generously babysitting for me, so that Mark could attend a class and I could gallivant around with a handsome real estate agent, that didn't quite seem to get what it is we are looking for.  As of right now I am not one step closer to finding my mother a house than I was a month ago.  Hrumph.  In the end we had pretty fabulous meal, which included steamed nettles, which Rolf harvested at Sauvie Island. 
 This giant fellow lives with me now, and I continue to be amazed by it.  Today  he was gone, off with his new friend, who makes me a tiny bit nervous, because he is a urbane fellow from Chicago, that knows how to use the bus system, but I am trying to be a sensible and not overbearing parent. I had such a rich life at his age.  Such deep and lovely relationships with friends.  Such an intense love of music and discovery.  I don't want to limit him, or spoil those discoveries.
I have been working hard on contentment this week.
I am even listening to one of those  self hypnosis CDs, where I give myself permission to be happy.
Yesterday while attempting to listen to the CD, which instructs me to  
RE L A X,  R E L A X  D E E P L Y,
Freyja opened the door three times and Maxwell decided to practice his drum kit.  I shut myself up in the bathroom in hopes of being left alone, no dice
This sign was behind one of the houses I looked at for Mom today.

I e-mailed this photo to her.   

Deal breaker?

I have not been reading much lately, which is really weird for me.

I just feel restless and unsettled.

I have had a lot of fun buying songs from I-Tunes, which I apparently am the last one to the party - everyone was out there purchasing cool music with a click, and I was sitting around missing out.

It is all new to me and terribly exciting, since there are so many songs I have on vinyl that I never purchased on CD, and my record player has become pretty fickle lately and I imagine it will die completely at some point soon.

I am listening to Prince's song Kiss, which I love, but I am not a big enough fan to purchase the whole record.  There are about a million songs like that, and I look forward to owning them all.

I had a pretty serious psoas muscle two weeks ago, which caused me to miss yoga for over a week.

When I did go last week I felt really scared of injuring myself, so I was pretty wimpy, which I hate, because yoga usually makes me feel pretty powerful.  It took a great deal of snapping and cracking to make it so I could breath without great pain, so I was reluctant to mess all of that chiropractic work, by doing one too many downward facing dogs.  I also had a crazy intense cold, which made my balance all kooky, so all in all it was a bad week for my body last week.

I hope that things go more smoothly this week.

I took Thursday and Friday off, and I am a little nervous about what I will find when I get back to work in the morning.

I seem to be going back to this song pretty often,

I guess it has a lot to do with my romanticized notion of love, which most likely has not one bit of relationship to reality.
Never the less I like to think of myself devoted in the way described in this song, even though I know it is unhealthy, and from the perspective of a man.  Apparently my view of romantic love is a lot like my love of butter- unhealthy.

No comments:

Post a Comment